One of the most frequent concerns I hear about working from home is the difficulty in setting boundaries between work and home lives.
Sure, you save the commute time back and forth, but some people relished the commute time for quiet time – to read, listen to podcasts, play games or even daydream. Now that your office is inside your home, you default to checking email (and then doing just one more thing) well outside typical office hours. Days are longer, and one day bleeds into the next with little separation or respite.
The lack of physical boundaries between work and home means that you will have to set other boundaries, in order to preserve time for work and home (and yourself). These boundaries can include habits, such as not defaulting to checking email just because you can. Boundaries can also be in the agreements you make with others so that you manage your time the way you intend to and not on the whims of others.
Here are seven ways to set boundaries between work and home:
1 – Sync your work and home schedules – get real about what you need
When my youngest daughter’s college went remote, our working space for two suddenly needed to accommodate three. In our case, this meant setting up an additional desk and increasing our Internet capacity since our work was almost entirely online. Depending on what you’re juggling at home, you may need to accommodate for nap times, helping with classwork, additional meals to prep, etc. If you have a partner who works at home, you need to come up with productive ways to both work from home.
Make a list of exactly what you need on both fronts – i.e., specific days and times when family needs you, where work appointments and deadlines fall. See where there are actual calendar conflicts versus action items that need to be done but on their own time. Overlay ongoing tasks which don’t have deadlines but still need to happen – e.g., checking email. Having a total picture of everything that needs to be done ensures that you can be proactive about finding time for everything.
2 – Reset expectations with your manager
When you combine your work and home needs in one ultimate checklist, you may see conflicts – for example, deadlines that overlap. Meet with your manager to reset expectations around what you can do. Come prepared with solutions to propose. If you have an ongoing conflict, you may need to switch up when you start or end your day, so you can have a longer midday break. Or, it can be a one-off accommodation, such as if you have a work meeting that needs to move.
Resetting expectations with your manager is good practice anyway, especially in times like today’s market when conditions are fast-changing Your manager’s priorities might change, and they would welcome flexibility from you on what to focus on. Focusing your work on company priorities is a critical way to maintain your job security.
3 – Reset expectations at home
While changes at work can help on the home front, changes at home may be necessary to help you get your work done. Call a household meeting so everyone can share what they are working on, and as a team, you can figure out the best way forward. Even if you are the most organized in the group, this doesn’t mean you need to do everything. Distribute tasks, assign deadlines and post it clearly – we have those big Post-it papers you can stick on a wall, but others keep a family calendar online. However you divide and disseminate the tasks, just make sure that everything that is needed is assigned to someone and everyone knows what their assignment and timetable is.
If running the household falls on you (e.g., you have young children who can’t help), consider getting help. “Videocare” might be an option – this is virtual babysitting from a formerly in-person babysitting company that pivoted during the pandemic. Research your options and run the numbers on what you can afford. Check with your company as there might be an Employee Assistance Program (EAP) with additional options.
4 – Block out do-not-disturb time
The lack of physical boundaries between work and home already increases the propensity for distraction, so you may have to build in ways to deter any more distractions. For at least one hour a day, create a do-not-disturb time for work. Block off this time on your calendar to meetings. Turn off email notifications, or even close your email platform entirely so you’re not tempted to check. Reserve this time for your most critical work.
Ideally, you can make your do-not-disturb time the time of day when you concentrate best. I am a morning person so I try not to schedule morning meetings or appointments, and instead reserve that time for analysis, writing or other creative work that needs my focus. If you have an upcoming deadline, you’ll want to increase the amount of do-not-disturb time that you reserve for when you know the work requires it. Reserving time to do your best work ensures that you proactively promote your career and not just react to incoming work, like a game of Whack-A-Mole.
5 – Build in self-care habits and routines throughout the day
You may not have an actual commute to listen to your favorite podcast, but you can still do your commute routine and listen to your podcast. Get up from your desk throughout the day. Drink plenty of water. Take a lunch break.
Set alarms on your phone if your tendency is to forget these items. Set an alarm for every half hour to stand at your desk, even if it’s to get up and sit back down. Set another alarm for every hour to drink a glass of water. Make a virtual lunch date with a key person in your network so you don’t forget to eat and you nurture those critical professional relationships. Finally, set an alarm for when your work day ends – you can always change the time to accommodate a pressing deadline. Pack up your computer or other work supplies and put them away to signal the end of your work time. Set an out of office message to let your colleagues know when you’ll return online.
6 – Set communication guidelines with your colleagues and team
Letting people know when you are reachable and how to reach you is critical to setting boundaries with others. In a physical work environment, you can see if a person looks busy and it’s not a good time to interrupt. When everyone works from home, you don’t know who is busy, and they don’t know you are busy, so you will surely get interrupted. To minimize interruptions, tell your colleagues and team when and how to get a hold of you.
The “when” means that you let people know when you’re available through managing your calendar or by sharing if there are specific times during the day that you’ll be checking email – you can set an autoresponder email to say, “Thank you for your email. I’m working on something else right now, but I check emails at 11a, 2p, and 5p each day.” The “how” means that you specify if you prefer email, phone, Slack or whatever mediums of communication your workplace uses. That autoresponder can include, “If your matter is urgent, please text or call or DM…” If people really need to get a hold of you, they will. But more likely, it’s a non-urgent request and a few hours of delay will not be a problem.
7 – Learn to say No and still be helpful
Putting in a short delay when someone tries to reach you is one way of saying No (because you say No at that particular moment) but you are still helpful because you indicate when you will be reachable again. Learning to say No is a critical skill for setting boundaries so you can stay on your own schedule and focused on your own priorities and not get pulled into the multiple needs of others.
At the same time, you want to be perceived as a team player, so you want to still be helpful even when you say No. Delaying your Yes (i.e., saying No in the moment) and then helping later when it’s a better time for you is one approach. Identifying others who can help is another approach and may be the better solution for everyone, if another person is better equipped to answer the question, attend the meeting or otherwise help with the request. Training the person to help themselves is yet another approach. For example, if a colleague asks you for information that can be accessed directly by the colleague, you can show them where to find it and walk through the process with them so they know for future requests. This may take more time in the short-term, but saves you time in the long-term, especially if it will likely be a repeat request.
There are multiple ways you can set boundaries between work and home but you have to be willing to set them
You will need to invest some time in figuring out what is needed at work and at home. You will need to have candid conversations with your manager, colleagues, team and household. You will need discipline to stick to the boundaries you set. However, setting boundaries is an investment that allows you to focus on the work that matters, fulfill your personal commitments and still have time to take care of yourself.
A version of this post originally appeared in my column for Forbes.com.
